Modern Warfare 2 is around the corner.

Folks, the most anticipated game of the year, Modern Warfare 2, is out in a week and a half. I'm totally excited and unless you have some sort of black gooey mass where your soul should be, you probably are too.

It looks as if Activision has hooked up with mega-national department store chain Wal-Mart and is releasing a series of ads for the game. You should expect to see more of this sort of stuff in the coming days...

Nintendo announce new, huge DS.

Bought a DSi this year did you? Well, I would suggest you don't read on for fear of an outburst of violence.

At a press conference in Tokyo today, Nintendo announced another iteration on their stupidly-successful handheld platform. This counts as four now - The DS, DS Lite, DSi and now...

The DSi LL, they're calling it.

Apparently it's for the elderly gamer. Which makes sense I guess, considering the fucking massive 4.2 inch screen.

Here's a comparison. The current model DSi is in white, the new DSi LL in its stylish 'Wine Red' colour. Check out the size of that second stylus! Yeah, it comes with two!

It's coming out in Japan on November 21 with Europe (and presumably Australia) in early 2010. The price point is rumoured to be more expensive than the current DSi. 

Frankly, I couldn't care less. Bigger screen? Meh. I just bought my awesome red limited edition Mario DS Lite so I'll be fine for a long while yet. No DSi LL for me thanks.

No, sorry Nintendo. I won't be buying it no matter how many stylish colours you come out with.

Oh, you fucking bastards.

UPDATE: Apparently, when this thing launches in Europe, it will be renamed the DSi XL. That's little strange. I'm starting to think this is less for old people and more for overweight people. Hopefully, there will be an option in The Legend Of Zelda: Spirit Tracks where you can mash the buttons with your palm because your fingers are too fat.

Am I suddenly interested in Assassin's Creed 2?

In 2007, I was super excited for Ubisoft's medieval stealth killing adventure game, Assassin's Creed. I bought the thing hoping for an experience beyond reproach, what I got was a slightly disappointing bunch of repetitive missions wrapped up in a very nice looking package. Apart from being able to stab annoying beggars who ask you for money, the highlights of this game were few and far between for me.

A gold coin? Sure, I've got it here somewh-STAB!

That said, they've made a sequel. So why do I suddenly care? Well, apparently they've fixed a lot of the issues of the first game. Way more variety in the missions, side-missions, characters, weapons and general vibe of the game make this seem like what the first game should have been. Set in the Italian Renaissance in the 15th century, the player takes the role of Ezio, a dude who has trained his whole life to be a professional killing machine.

Like this, but with less gay.

I don't want to get ahead of myself here, but I'm very interested in what they've done. Apparently a young Leonardo Da Vinci helps you out with a few weapons so that's sounds pretty awesome to me. Regardless of all that, they're starting to put a rather large marketing effort before this game ahead of its November release. Take this first part of a short movie for instance. It's called Assassin's Creed: Lineage, it's been done by the studio who did visual effects for Sin City and for a internet-based prequel to a video game, it's pretty fucking amazing.

A charming little adventure.

While I spend my days waiting for Borderlands (tomorrow's the day!), I decided to have a look around the latest releases for Xbox Live Arcade. I've bought a few games in the past (Braid, Shadow Complex, Streets Of Rage 2), but last week a new title caught my eye: Axel & Pixel.

That's Axel with the beard and blue pants.

What is essentially a point-and-click adventure/photo hunt game, this enchanting little jaunt sees Axel the painter living in his mountaintop cabin with his dog, Pixel. After sitting down in his favourite chair after a hard day's painting, he and his best friend relax without a care in the world. And then a purple rat appears and activates a record player which sucks Axel & Pixel into another world. Yes, the premise is a bit weird but take a minute to think about some other classic games and how wacky their intro is...

Yeah, you obtuse fucks know what I'm talking about.

So I plonked down 800 Microsoft points ($12) and downloaded it. A total of 24 chapters (single-screen levels) including three action levels (car, boat, hot-air balloon) awaited me but the gameplay wasn't the highlight. It is the charm of it all. Slovakian developer Silver Wish Games have crafted a great fantasy tale with basically no dialogue. Axel speaks in gibberish, his only actual words are either "Yippee!" or "Oh yeah!" when he celebrates the completion of a puzzle. The objective of the game is to hunt down that rat who has the only key that will get your back to the real world. 

Pixel gets kidnapped by a dragonfly at one point. Told you it was weird.

Anyway, in these times of a lot of games being based around shooting dudes in the face, it's refreshing that for less than fifteen bucks, you can be transported to a beautiful art-laden world of dreams for a few hours and enjoy every minute of it.

Now, back to shooting dudes in the face.

More like PSP Stop, am I right?

Well, it was pretty obvious this was going to happen but now we have some numbers to prove it. The PSP Go has officially tanked in Australia.

About to gather dust like a motherfucker.

The Sydney Morning Herald released some Sony sales figures and it failed to sell more than 1000 units in its first week on the shelf. I did my own research into some comparison figures and found that the launch of the Nintendo DSi managed to shift 30,000 units in its first ten days in Australia.

No big surprise considering their gameplan. Firstly, it's a PSP. The handheld was released in 2004 and since then, sales have been steadily declining. Sony's solution to this problem was to re-release it as the PSP Go in 2009, with a smaller screen and make it download-only. And then slap a $450 price tag on the damn thing.

Seriously, Zardoz makes more fucking sense.

Honestly, it's a shame. Because in a vacuum, the PSP Go is pretty awesome. The sleek look paired with the interface and functionality actually work. But place it the real world up against every other gadget and doo-dad on the market and it instantly becomes dead on a toilet. In addition to that, can you think of five PSP games you're really dying to play? And while you're thinking about that, discount any games that are remakes or versions of pre-existing PS2 games...

Yeah. There's your problem. Expecting Australians to pay almost half a grand on that? When you can outlay $50 more and buy an actual full-blown Playstation fucking 3? Good Christ, I'm surprised it sold one unit.

HD movies right there on my Xbox.

For years since the launch of the Xbox 360, Australians have pretty much gotten the shaft when it comes to all of the online features that the console has to offer. Well, some of that is about to change it seems. This November, they'll be rolling out the new Xbox 360 update. Amongst other things, it will add Facebook and Twitter to the main dashboard.

So this is what the damn kids are into now?

But that is not nearly the most exciting part. Australia will now, finally, receive movies on the dashboard. Full-blown high-definition 1080p resolution blockbusters streaming down your internet tube for the whole family to enjoy.

Hopefully, this family favourite will be available for repeated viewing.

The Xbox 360 Video Marketplace will be phased out and replaced with the Zune Marketplace. The Zune being Microsoft's version of the iPod, it looks like they are trying to get that brand name out in front of people worldwide. I don't care what they are shoving in front of me, as long as HD movies come with it. Naturally, with Microsoft being the money-hungry bastards they usually are, this is apparently only for Gold subscribers, so you better pony up some cash if you want to be part of this business. And if it all works right, why wouldn't you?

Say hi to VHS for me, dude.

The reason to finally buy a Wii this November.

2010: The Year We Make Contact...With Awesome!

This year's Q4 release season is already underway (man, Borderlands comes out next week!) and it is more than enough to keep any respectable person busy through until December. But thanks to all the delays we had in the last few months, the release schedule for early 2010 is shaping up to be even more incredible. Here's a few announced shelf dates that should get your motor running...

DARK VOID - January 15, 2010

MASS EFFECT 2 - January 29, 2010

BIOSHOCK 2 - February 9, 2010

SPLINTER CELL: CONVICTION - February 23, 2010

We're just dealing with actual confirmed release dates here but there a whole bunch more of amazing titles that are set to drop sometime in the first half of 2010. Such as:

RED DEAD REDEMPTION - Sometime between Feb and June 2010

HEAVY RAIN - early 2010

ALAN WAKE - March 2010

MAX PAYNE 3 - between March and June 2010

Paying the cost to be the boss.

In these troubled times of daily stress, uncertainty and general financial concern, you need to know you can shoot dudes in the face at the push of a button. I know I do and recently, I made this endeavour much easier to enjoy.

Toying on and off with upping my Xbox Live membership to Gold status, I just set it up for the next three months (thanks to the pre-paid card that came with my hard drive). But in the past I've had the console in an awkward position as a result of being a slave to the ethernet cord. Well, no more shall I be chained down by the outdated technology of yesteryear, I've gone wireless baby!

BOOMSHAKALAKA!

First things first, I know for a fact I'm getting screwed by Microsoft by shelling out for this wireless network adapter. The thing retails at $129.95 and I can tell you now, there ain't $129.95 worth of parts inside it. Anyway, Big W came to the rescue and had a sale on numerous Xbox 360 accessories and kindly dropped the price of the adapter down to $108. Not a huge saving but to hell with it, Microsoft aren't going to cheapen it any further any time soon.

I got the adapter home but before I could start capping fools around the world with my assault rifle, the console didn't recognise that the adapter was plugged in. After a few calls to Microsoft, it turned out that the adapter was faulty. How about that shit? The only fucking adapter that I ever buy and it's a piece of crap. Unlucky or what?

Yeah Riker, you know what I'm saying.

Anyway, I took it back to Big W and the sales girl very kindly made sure that the new adapter she gave in exchange was from a different batch. I took the new one home and BOOYAH it worked just fine. All I had to do was search for my own wireless network and before you could say 'Eat bullet, motherfucker!', I had plenty of motherfuckers eating my bullets.

DISCLAIMER: While I may talk a lot of talk about my face-shooting skills in the war-torn world of Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, I'm actually not that good. But when I take down some dude with a gamertag of ikilledu16 after he's killed me ten times in a row, you better believe I'm punching the air with my fist. Naturally, I feel the need to relay that type of feeling here.

Hitting cops in the face with chains is still fun.

Intrepid readers of this blog may remember my quest to reclaim part of my childhood via the Sega Megadrive. If not, check it:

http://preparations4birth.blogspot.com/2009/08/reclaiming-world-of-sega.html

Last week, I said 'peace two fingers' to the annoying RF cable and got myself an AV cable specifically designed for the Megadrive 2 from a dude on Ebay. Much easier in every way, I just had to plug the red, white and yellow plugs into the AV outlets and away I went. Everything worked fine. I grabbed the nearest cartridge and fired it up. 

Nothing. A black screen. Then something in my far-reaching memory banks triggered and I yanked the cartridge out of the console and blew on it a couple of times. It's an early-nineties magic trick that still works to this day. I then fell into a wonderful world of blast processing and 16 bit action. 

This is Road Rash 2. Basically, you're a motorbike rider who makes money racing motorbikes so you can buy more awesome motorbikes. Every other rider is out to get you. Whether it be via fist, foot, baton or chain, the 12 other people in every race (and the police) want you dead. This is the key thing that makes Road Rash so enjoyable. The technology of the Megadrive doesn't present the riders as anything but blank avatars that look exactly the same. But thanks to a mechanic that displays the closest rider's name on the screen somehow gives them more personality than any pointless backstory could.

That's you in the red. You can put your own name in the field where it says 'Neil'. Apart from that, this screenshot is pretty much a snapshot of a race I had a couple of days ago. That's Natasha on the left. I fed that bitch some serious chain.

There's so much crazy depth that still surprises the hell out of me with this game. When somebody knocks you off your bike, you have complete control over your rider on foot. Running back to your overturned bike could have been a simple automated animation but it adds another layer when you have to avoid other bikes and speeding cars to get back in the race. 

The fact that this game even has a bike shop is amazing. Looking through the catalogue and seeing the red Diablo for $30,000 is something I remember doing when I was sixteen. I never bought the thing back then. That discrepancy is about to be rectified. 

Serious Sam returns.

Years ago, before the Xbox, Ps3 and the Wii, there was this dude called Sam. And he was serious.

Well, not really. He shot at aliens, skeleton horses and headless screaming guys with bombs for hands. It was dumb but one hell of a good time. And now he's back.

Rumoured to be hitting Xbox Live Arcade and PC later this month, you can only imagine the online co-op goodness a high-def Sam adventure could entail.

Behold this fucking insane trailer...

Early impressions of...Ghostbusters.

Thanks to Sony and their mountains made of cash money, Australia is only now approaching a release date for Ghostbusters: The Video Game on the Xbox 360. November 6 to be exact is the time when you'll be busting them ghosts but fortunately, a demo of the game is already up and running on Xbox Live. I downloaded it the other day and checked it out.

I think I've actually been to that spot in New York.

The demo shows you a significant chunk of the game's mechanics, including firing the proton packs, using the PKE meter and checking out data in Tobin's Spirit Guide. All of these things are naturally inherent to the Ghostbusters experience and they meld into the game experience pretty smoothly. (I totally thought Tobin's Spirit Guide was real when I saw the movie in 1984 and wanted to find a copy because it sounded cool).

Playing as 'the rookie', a new Ghostbuster, you're at the New York Public Library with Ray, Egon and Winston (Venkman is nowhere to be seen) waving at the crowd in the street after performing some unspecified ghost-busting task. Of course, things aren't that easy and a couple of stray ghosts appear just begging for you to mop them up. The GB boys and yourself run inside the library and you eventually blast those pesky poltergeists and throw them in a trap.

Burn you fucking books! Ha ha! Wait...

Voice acting is prominent all the way through and is pretty solid. Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis do a good job as their characters, with Aykroyd spouting off all that 'it's a class-five full-roaming vapour' type stuff pretty often. One of the weird aspects of this section is that you come across the librarian ghost which featured in the first moments of the movie and she is constantly referred to as 'The Grey Lady'. Like that's her name or something. It's strange that the characters (and indeed all the marketing for the game) have suddenly named this iconic ghost and now we're all supposed to say 'Oh, okay The Grey Lady'. I don't want her to have a name or backstory, I just want her to be 'librarian ghost'. What kind of latter-day retcon shit is that?

Anyway, the controls are sweet. Running around third-person Dead Space-style is the order of the day here and it works fine. Firing the proton pack with the right trigger is fun but the real joy comes from a 'reload' function that has been created for the game. Fire a proton beam for too long and the pack gets overheated. Tapping the right bumper button vents the pack, which ostensibly acts as a reload. Call it a contrivance for the sake of a video game, but it makes catching ghosts a lot more enjoyable and involved.

Ernie Hudson is a standout. As Winston Zeddmore, he really nails the urgency in his voice over work. True, he hardly says anything but when he does it's like actually running alongside Winston. Which is awesome.

Mr Awesome.

All the Ghostbusters music you could want is here. The cool understated score from the movie accompanies you throughout the game and Ray Parker Jnr's legendary song fills up the load screens.

It looks like the Ghostbusters game that you could hope for and probably the only decent one that's ever going to be made so I'm pretty sure I'll be picking it up when it drops in November. 

Nintendo's claws have sunk in...again.

Over the weekend, I briefly went a little crazy and ran out and bought a DS Lite. Specifically, this DS Lite:

Be smug all you want Mario, you're mine now.

Nintendo has always been semi-present in my life. I own a Gamecube, a Nintendo 64 and a Game Boy Advance SP. Even the original Game Boy, that big fat brick of a thing, takes up room in my house (although I'm not entirely sure where...).

Anyway, the point is that I am yet again a Nintendo customer. I've wanted a DS Lite as long as I can remember and one of the benefits of not being five years old is that I can make that a reality instantly if I feel the need. And doesn't it look fucking awesome?

Huh? Huh? Yeeeeeeah.

I specifically chose the DS Lite instead of the new DSi. Mainly because I don't think an extra hundred bucks is worth paying for a couple of low-res cameras and a shitty download service (yes, I know the screen is a bit bigger but, a hundred bucks bigger?). On top of this choice, I managed to score some pretty great deals. Firstly, the red Mario DS Lite came free with a copy of New Super Mario Bros. I had played it before and knew it to be great so what kind of psycho wouldn't take advantage of this deal when the game alone costs around $60 by itself?

I bought two more games. Professor Layton and the Curious Village was always on top of my list and even though I paid $50 for it, I consider it a decent purchase. But the gold I really struck was for $19. The second installment in the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney series, Justice For All, was sitting there on sale and begging to be bought. Which I did. Oh boy, what a bargain. The game is highly entertaining and has sparked off my lust with all things Nintendo yet again. We'll have to wait and see whether I regret that later on down the road.

Dude, now I understand you.

Games of October - Part 2

Looking at the latter half of the month and one game stands tall amongst the rest. But perhaps you don't care for randomly generated guns and lawless wastlelands. Maybe exotic cars are more your speed. Christ knows why, but anyway...

BORDERLANDS (Xbox 360, PC, Ps3)

This is the one for October as far as I'm concerned. Mixing Mad Max style with Diablo gameplay, the desolate planet of Pandora is somewhere I want to be right now. Taking on quests, fighting skags and designing guns are all elements I can't wait to sink my teeth into. New information describes a high-class army called the Crimson Lance who, if defeated, carry some of the best weapons in the game. Looks like they'll be my first targets then.

Release date: October 23

FORZA MOTORSPORT 3 (Xbox 360)

I just played the demo recently. Why, you ask? It's a racing game innit? Yes, that's true but I've heard that it's the racing game for people who hate Gran Turismo. And I fucking hate Gran Turismo. I picked a red Audi and drove around a track a couple of times. Nothing too amazing I'm afraid. The cars certainly look incredible and the mountain ranges look real but a small part of me was falling asleep. Some people swear by this franchise but I wasn't blown away. That said, all three Forza games have been released in between Gran Turismo 4 and 5. Hmm...another reason to hate Gran Turismo. 

Release date: October 27

DJ HERO (Xbox 360, Ps3, Wii)

When you first see the turntable controller for this game, it appears to be the dumbest thing on the planet. And not much has convinced me otherwise. True, the trailers featuring the inclusion of Daft Punk do indeed look good and the beats would probably get the kids pumping. But seriously, it's going to be a long time before I'm convinced to pay over $100 for a DJ game. Considering music is dead to me, I'm obviously not the target audience for this release but I just can't help imagine how sad a dude will appear playing this game late at night in his living room dressed only in his underwear. And that dude ain't gonna be me.

Release date: October 30

Modern Warfare 2 continues to look awesome.

10 November 2009 is when this all-encompassing juggernaut hits. I'm saving my 3 months of Gold for this one because according to this brand new trailer, they are gonna be blowing some shit up.

Games of October - Part 1

In this new feature (if I can be bothered to keep it regular enough), I'm going to run through what I believe to be the important games set for release this month. Hopefully I write something resembling this every month so people out there can get an idea of what will be on store shelves in the next 30 days. 

October sees the start of Q4. Typically, that means games start to come out in a huge way. Last year, for example, October 23 saw the simultaneous release of Far Cry 2, Dead Space and Fable 2. Christ, that was a tough day. Anyway, Q4 2009 probably won't be as brutal seeing how a lot of important titles have been pushed back to 2010. But make no mistake, there's still a whole lot of notable games on their way. Good or bad, let's have a look...

DEAD SPACE: EXTRACTION (Wii)

What's that? A new Dead Space game? Well, kind of. First off, it's on the Wii. And it's a rail shooter. What do I mean by 'rail shooter'? Remember Virtua Cop and Time Crisis? Yep, that's it. Extraction is a prequel (which makes it the third prequel, counting the comic and animated film) and to be honest, it's weird that it even exists. If you only own a Wii, would you even know what Dead Space is? And if you own a 360 or PS3, would you want Dead Space on your Wii? But apparently it captures all the atmosphere of the USG Ishimura. Just in a very strange way it seems.

Release date: October 1.

BRUTAL LEGEND (XBOX 360, PS3)

I have had my reservations about this one in the past and to be honest, I still do. Head designer Tim Schafer is taking a big gamble in mixing action/adventure with real-time strategy. Nobody can really confirm how much RTS elements will be in the finished product so we'll just have to wait and see I guess. That said, apparently one of the units that you can control is called the 'Hate Cage' and it's basically a cage on legs that screams and gushes blood on enemies. So there's that.

Release date: October 15.

UNCHARTED 2: AMONG THIEVES (PS3)

Set to be one of the biggest releases for the PS3 this year, Uncharted 2 sees the return of cocky, always-down-on-his-luck treasure hunter Nathan Drake. As I am without a PS3, I never played the first game. But When I do acquire one, I'll pick it up along with this sequel. Critics and fans love this series and from what I've seen, I will too. Everyone who has ever talked about a film version of this game, 100% of people say Nathan Fillion should play the lead. So naturally, I want to check this franchise out.

Release date: October 15

MARIO & LUIGI: BOWSER'S INSIDE STORY (DS)

When this was first announced at E3 this year, it was a bit weird. The majority of the game takes place inside Bowser's guts. This is the third Mario & Luigi game and running around inside their mortal enemy is a good a reason as any for another outing I guess. Whatever, it's a Mario game on the DS so generally that's a pretty awesome experience.

Release date: October 22.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Margaret Pomeranz hits the nail on the goddamn head.

Online tech and gaming blog show Byteside recently interviewed movie critic extraordinaire Margaret Pomeranz about Australia's lack of an R18+ rating for games. And holy Christ she makes some sensible points. Watch this video then tell everybody you know to watch it.