The Road To Metal Gear - Part 2.

The hallway outside the lift on Basement 1 is totally deserted so I just run for it. It's here that I start to notice all the doors are numbered. Some have 6 on them, others have 2. Mei Ling comes on the CODEC and tells me that Donald Anderson is on the radar as a green dot and he's nearby. There's nobody around so I decide to check more doors.

Also, she spouts a lot of philosophical quotes when I all I want to do is save my game. Confucious say - shut the fuck up! 

The door I arrive at has a big number 1 written on it. As I approach, it beeps at me and remains closed. I guess I need a key of some sort. Eventually, the only exit to this area I can find is a ladder leading to an air vent. 

Like this but with a ladder. And less stains.

As I'm crawling through this vent, I look down upon a guard sitting on a toilet in the next room. He chats calmly to himself about how he hates Alaska and how he might be getting a cold. He then mentions some woman who is 'built', as he puts it. He then gets up from the toilet AND HE STILL HAS HIS PANTS ON. Obviously, I'm dealing with a truly insane breed of soldier who is so much in their own mind that taking off their pants doesn't even occur to them when visiting the facilities. These guys must be batshit crazy. I gotta be careful.

The next grille I crawl over is a small room with a woman doing sit-ups in her bed. I decide she's not the DARPA Chief and move on. I find an opening further on and drop down. And there he was, sitting on a bunk.

All the main characters are introduced like this. Character name, then voice actor. Here's a fun fact: George Byrd went on to appear as 'Crewman #1' in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Immediately, I start grilling him about the terrorists and their demands. He drops some information about how I shouldn't fuck around with them. Why? Because they have a METAL GEAR. A nuclear-equipped walking battle tank, capable of launching a nuclear anywhere on the face of the earth. And they call it REX, because it resembles a tyrannosaur I guess. Obviously, this be some bad shit son. But Donald's got my hook-up. He tells me that there's some card keys that can override the launch codes and I have to get my hands on them.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, he is struck dead from a heart attack. Which is a surprise. I contact Campbell on the CODEC and ask 'What the fuck, man?' but he just says "Hmm, that's a bit weird."

No, Weird Al is a bit weird. My controller vibrating, the room shaking and a dude screaming WHY!?!?? while being violently killed by a heart attack, that is  SUSPICIOUS.

While I'm wondering what the hell I've gotten myself into, the door to Anderson's cell opens all by itself. Quietly, I creep out the door and suddenly spy a guard's body on the floor (the same guard who enjoyed fully-clothed toilet visits). His body is on the floor, nude.

Uh...yeah, don't ask.

There's a gun in my face. A guard is shaking, pointing a rifle at me. Naturally, because I'm awesome, I just pull out my pistol right back at them. In a few words, I discover the guard is in fact the woman from the next cell, now clad in the toilet guard's uniform. She mentions the name of Liquid, the leader of the terrorists and she's wondering if I am him. But her queries will have to wait because out of the blue - a bunch of guards burst through the door, ready to shoot the fuck out of us.

That's her in the green outfit, doing nothing. That's me in the blue, saving the GODDAMN WORLD.

I save her life in a flurry of expertly placed bullets but rather than thanking me, she runs. Running towards the elevator I first arrived in, I yell at her to stop but she's gone. Now here's when things get strange. Out of thin air, one of the terrorists appears, floating in mid-air. He whispers, "Good girl, just like that...". 

Oooooh-kay.

Campbell gets on the CODEC and tells me that was Psycho Mantis, the terrorists resident psychic. What? He can just appear and disappear at will? WELL, THAT'S JUST FUCKING GREAT. Campbell tells me to calm down and go find Kenneth Baker, the Armstech President. He's the second prisoner. Okey-dokey, off I go...

A perfect storm of point-and-click.

Life is pretty funny. Just when you start thinking about something, sometimes that thing becomes...a thing...I don't know, something.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is there's been a sudden resurgence in classic adventure games recently. In more ways than one. For those of you who don't remember, the games I'm talking about are of the point-and-click variety. Great writing, engaging characters and long-lasting nostalgia make these games absolute classics. They were big years ago, back in the eighties and nineties. And then they died off for seemingly no apparent reason. 

Just in the last couple of months, it seems they may be making a comeback. There's a select few that are beginning to return to the forefront of the video games for an all-new group of people to discover. And here are the reasons they're coming back...

1) The Secret Of Monkey Island

Coming to Xbox Live Arcade and PC, this classic point-and-click features the adventure of one Guybrush Threepwood, a young boy with dreams of being a pirate.

It won an ass-load of awards when it was released in 1990 and people talk about it nowadays in hushed tones that's usually only reserved for John F Kennedy and the spaghetti pizza. Well, it's coming back - in a High Definition version.

With an all new widescreen paintbrush art-style, this Monkey Island remake looks to be amazing and it will retain the original script, style and even some of the voice actors from the original.

Pictured: The most awesome thing you saw today.

On top of all that, Lucasarts (the developer) have flat-out stated that if this sells well, they will make more. SO ANYONE OUT THERE WHO EVEN REMOTELY LIKES VIDEO GAMES, BUY THIS GAME.

Release date: Hmm, no official date has been announced as yet. But it looks to be in the next month or two.

2) Tales of Monkey Island

In addition to a remake of the original, little Californian development house Telltale are making a whole new Monkey Island game. Tales of Monkey Island will be a 5 episode game released on PC and Wiiware (with a rumored Xbox Live Arcade version to follow).

Telltale already have form in this regard. A couple of years ago they did an all-new Sam & Max game in the same episodic form. Two whole seasons of it, in fact. So they know what they are doing. If you don't know who Sam & Max are, look here:

That's Max on the left. He's some kind of hyperkinetic rabbity-thing. Both him and Sam are freelance police. Oh yeah.

Sorry, got a little off topic here. Here's some shots of the new Monkey Island game...

Release date: July 7 for PC. It will then come later for download on the Wii.

                                      ^

                                      ^

                                      ^

                    (Hey Yuri, look here!)

3) A book clearance centre broke my fucking mind.

Here's what I mean when I said life is funny. I was all jazzed up by the possibility of playing Monkey Island and possibly other games of that types all over again right? Walking along minding my own business, when I was suddenly drawn into one of those book clearance centres like a moth to a flame...

Y'know, one of these places. But with dollars. Thanks for nothing Google Image Search.

A saw a sign that something about video games, so I went in and came out with Sam & Max Hit The Road and Full Throttle. Two of best of these games. One cost $15, the other $10.

Pardon me, I have to leave you now, dear reader. Two slices of awesome await.

P.S. Buy Monkey Island.

I am officially excited for The Beatles:Rock Band.

The 9th of September 09 sees the worldwide release (yes, Australia confirmed) of The Beatles: Rock Band and it seems the buzz around this game is growing to unmanageable levels. With a partial track list (10 of 45) revealed at E3 and All You Need Is Love and the Abbey Road LP confirmed for downloadable content at a later date, developer Harmonix have somehow created a perfect storm of game, band, interest. Add into that this amazing intro movie for the game...

For me, who has never owned a guitar/band game, I will be buying this thing the second it comes out. And I'm not even the world's biggest Beatles fan. Congratulations Harmonix.

That said, there is the small matter of pricing. Here's the US price listing:

The Beatles: Rock Band Software - Xbox 360, PLAYSTATION 3, Wii: USD$59.99

The Beatles: Rock Band Standalone Guitars - Xbox 360, PLAYSTATION 3, Wii: USD$99.99

The Beatles: Rock Band Limited Edition Premium Bundle: Xbox 360, PLAYSTATION 3, Wii: USD$249.99

But a price point for Australia has yet to be announced. This is the only thing that concerns me. Cause I'm gonna get me some Limited Edition bundle up in here. Coo coo ca choo!

The Road To Metal Gear - Part 1.

Later this year, Sony will deliver a price cut on the PS3. 

C'mon, it has to happen right? They've got to do it before the end of 2009 don't they? I know they still didn't announce any price reduction or the existence of a slim PS3 at this year's E3 but for the love of God, it has to be for the upcoming Christmas season. They can't just keep saying "The PS3 is awesome as it is. Poor people can go fuck themselves." and expect everyone to just swallow it, right? RIGHT?

Pictured: Sony Computer Entertainment.

Anyway, why do I have this misguided hope in the first place? Well, specifically - Metal Gear. Last year, the fourth (main) installment of Hideo Kojima's balls-out insane action-adventure-espionage series was dropped to rave reviews and I still haven't played it. But with Sony's help (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), I'll rectify this glaring oversight by year's end when they REDUCE THE FUCKING PRICE OF THE PS3.

Ahem. So, in preparation for this inevitable eventuality, I plan to reacquaint myself with the Metal Gear series before devouring Metal Gear Solid 4 whole. And you, the internet, will have the sparkling honour of taking this journey with me. That's right - I'll be detailing my experience from start to finish, step-by-step, right here on Preparations For Birth. Basically what the internet was invented for.

Although, to start right from the beginning, I would have to track down the original two games on the MSX home computer. But since these two titles, Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake, would take months to track down (or five minutes on a MSX emulator) - I won't bother. You can catch up on what happens in those games in about ten seconds anyway. Thusly:

- A terrorist named Big Boss who hates the government creates his own nation called Outer Heaven.

- Dude named Solid Snake is sent to kill Big Boss.

- Dude named Solid Snake kills terrorist Big Boss.

- Along the way, there's a good/evil guy named Gray Fox and a walking battle tank called Metal Gear.

 - And the games looked like this:

All bad guys wore red berets back in the MSX days.

Here's the box art for the first game. Yes, that's Kyle Reese. Don't ask.

So let's get this party started proper...

METAL GEAR SOLID (PLAYSTATION ONE) - 1998

Metal Gear Solid is one of the few PS1 action-adventure games to hold up quite well to scrutiny in 2009. Sure, the textures look terrible and the people can't actually open their mouths when they talk (a strange head-nodding animation is used instead) but it's the insane story and characters that make this game's impact last. 

Brought out of retirement one last time, uber-soldier Solid Snake is forced to leave his quiet life of dog-racing and getting drunk behind when the current commander of his former military unit - FOXHOUND, convinces him to undertake a mission. Roy Campbell runs shit in FOXHOUND now but every member of the unit has gone loco insane and turned a disused weapons storage facility in Alaska into a fortress. They demand they if the remains of Big Boss, their former leader, are not given to them - then they'll fire off some nuclear warheads and RAIN DOWN SOME GLOBAL DESTRUCTION WITH THEM SHITS. They're led by this dude here: 

His name is Liquid Snake. That's probably one of the least ridiculous names in this game.

After all that complicated back-story, its time to start sneaking around.

I infiltrate the facility via the water. Swimming up into a cargo warehouse, I do my best to avoid the three guards and reach the elevator at the rear of the room. While it's rising to the surface, I dump my unnecessary gear and bust out a pose that would make any terrorist wet themselves and cry.

And the game's title appears above my head when I do it. Go on, just give up now you terrorist fucks.

It's snowing like a motherfucker when I end up on the surface and what appears to be a Russian Hind D helicopter gunship takes off over my head. There's a few more guards at the front of the facility so I'm careful to creep around behind some boxes and conceal my awesome existence. 

That's me crouching on the right. That's a stupid guard on the left in his stupid white uniform. I hate that stupid guard.

I see in the distance a ventilation shaft which would be perfect to gain entry to the first building so I head to the staircase and - shit. Didn't see the surveillance camera. But it saw me alright. An alarm goes off loud enough to wake the most lethargic of guards and soon enough, I'm fighting one of them off with my bare hands. But since I'm a trained badass, I make short work of him and he's out cold in a second. I'm quick to escape up the stairs and dive into the vent. Once inside, I make my way downstairs to see a large room occupied by two parked tanks.

During all this malarkey, I've been in constant contact with Roy Campbell with my CODEC radio system implanted in my ear. He's telling me that the first thing I have to do is locate a guy named Donald Anderson, the chief of DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) who is being held prisoner somewhere in the facility. Apparently he will have some insight as to how to stop the terrorists' nuclear death-party.  Also talking to me on the CODEC is Dr Naomi Hunter (medical), Mei Ling (the chick who I use to save my game) and some dude named Master Miller (a former mentor who knows about 'flora and fauna'). I plan to talk to these people as little as possible.

Climbing out from underneath a tank, (I hid under there to keep out of sight) I quickly take an elevator down to the Basement 1 level, the location where Campbell thinks Anderson is being held. Let's see if the old man is right...

That's the elevator in the back of the room. Behind another stupid guard. The kind I hate.

DISCLAIMER: I'll try my best to stick with this as far as I can. I figure by the time I've run through Metal Gear Solid 1, 2 and 3 - it will be time to pick up a cheap PS3 along with a copy of Metal Gear Solid 4. If not, I'll probably put a gun in my mouth.

TO BE CONTINUED

Lessons to be learned from E3 2009.

More of the same can apparently be good thing or a bad thing.

Earlier this year, the teaser trailer for Bioshock 2 was released. Featuring a mysterious girl on the edge of an ocean, objects rose from the sand to envelope her surroundings.

A few things were out of the ordinary. Firstly, we were on dry land. Was this going to be the setting for the sequel? Secondly, who was the girl? Was she a Little Sister grown into her early teens? And what were the objects rising from the beach? A small city? A collection of weapons?

Well, E3 revealed all aaaaaand...we're going back to Rapture. The first gameplay footage looked suspiciously similar to the first time we visited Andrew Ryan's fallen metropolis. Now, considering Bioshock was an incredible experience from start to finish, why would we desire anything but an additional adventure in the same vein? It seems some are not pleased with a return to underwater city.

That said, ponder another sequel - Modern Warfare 2. In Microsoft's press briefing, the first gameplay footage was revealed and showed the world how developer Infinity Ward would deliver the second punch in their presumably bottomless arsenal. And it was pretty much like the first game. Regardless of snowmobiles, ice picks and Soap's icy beard - the core gameplay hadn't changed too drastically. And guess what? Thank Christ that's the case. The industry and fans around the world reacted to the new footage with unbridled enthusiasm and we all cannot wait until November to get our hands on the game and start capping ultra-nationalists all over again.

You have to wonder where the difference lies. While people are ready to upgrade their PCs to the tune of hundreds of dollars for Modern Warfare 2, most of us are a touch ambivalent about returning the world of Bioshock. But neither have changed all that much. So why the different opinions? If they are both doing simply 'more of the same', why is one more revered than the other when the first entries of each franchise were equally acclaimed?

Secrets no longer exist.

Jack Tretton, the CEO of Sony Computer Entertainment America, cracked a joke or two at his company's press briefing on Tuesday. He joked that he was surprised any journalists actually turned up to the conference considering the amount of details that had already leaked on the internet. He was right, and he wasn't the only one. Everyone in the industry were already well-informed about the PSP Go, the PS3 motion controller, Wii Fit Plus, Wii Sports Resort, Halo:Reach and the Xbox 360 motion controller. While there were a few shocks (Left 4 Dead 2!), it's interesting to try and imagine being ignorant to the introduction to these things without pre-E3 knowledge.

The PSP Go, for example. When it finally appeared on stage, the reaction was simply "Okay, so it's official. Let's get to the next thing". Preferably, it should have been more along the lines of "Holy Jesus! A PSP with slide controls and no UMD? Sign me up!". But is it even possible to think like this in hindsight? For those of us who saw the leaks, we'll never know.

Who's to blame? Well, first you have to consider whether blame is warranted. Some of us may want to know these things before the day. Journalists hungry for an exclusive, consumers hungry for excitement. If you are looking to place blame, it must lay on the doorstep of modern technology. With such things as text messaging and Twitter, secrets are now impossible to keep concealed completely. But with upcoming video games, do we want them totally under wraps anyway?

Relief comes not from expectation, but faith.

One title that definitely had people leaning forward to hear more about was Remedy Entertainment's Alan Wake. It was first announced at E3 2005 and it wasn't until E3 2009 that we finally saw the game in action. The story of a horror writer searching for his wife had slowly but surely captured the attention of the industry over its lengthy development cycle for two simple reasons. It looked really interesting and it was taking too long. A lesser title would be quickly ignored and/or punished for such a long time between drinks; an attitude created by the ridiculousness of Duke Nukem Forever's situation.

But it was the story and the concept that kept people coming back to a guy named Alan. And when the game was finally revealed at E3, the whole industry breathed a sigh of relief. The game was on track and looking good. That's a load off our minds, huh?

Is it, though? Why? This isn't a sequel. It's an original intellectual property and even though Remedy made the highly entertaining Max Payne games, Alan Wake has absolutely no track record. All these facts don't matter. Because everybody wants this game to succeed. And that is just strange. Cynicism is rife throughout any media industry and video games are no different. So why is everybody willing to give this game the benefit of the doubt after almost half a decade in development? The game does indeed look amazing and thrilling, so...is it as simple as that? Perceived quality that conquers all doubt?

Finally, how goddamn awesome are video games anyway?

It was painfully obvious Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney were uncomfortable talking about a product in which they had little to no experience. Ringo mentioned the 'very good graphics' and Paul described the in-game versions of themselves as 'androids'. But no matter. Anyone who saw that slightly awkward bumbling from the two surviving Fab Four were more concerned about The Beatles: Rock Band and how entertaining it looked to play.

When I was a little lad, two friends and I proposed quite a hare-brained scheme. The three of us were going to pool our money together and buy ourselves a Sega Megadrive. We had seen Streets Of Rage 2 in action and we knew immediately that it was totally necessary to throw caution to the wind, give a two-finger salute to our financial troubles and start headbutting our way to glory. Thankfully, the plan never came to fruition. Which was probably a good thing.

But the same enthusiasm remains today. Nothing creates the same excitement than a brand new video game on launch day. And E3 this year crystallized this attitude to a fine point. The revenge violence and dynamic gameplay of Splinter Cell: Conviction pleasantly surprised me. Modern Warfare 2's action set-pieces had me on the edge of my seat. Nathan Drake's use of the phrase "Holeeee shit" in Uncharted 2: Among Thieves made me laugh. New Super Mario Bros for the Wii had me recalling the fondness for every game in the series and excited for this one.

What other media has grown and developed this much in our lifetimes? Music? Movies? I don't think so. Video games are special. And they're special because we feel that they are ours. The majority of the population of the planet are just like Ringo and Paul. They are aware of the existence of the concept of video games but only we know just how special they can be. And that's what the best of E3 can produce. Feeling good about ourselves via the awesome medium of video games. And really, what more do you want?

OH SNAP! The most incredible things to come out of E3.

Ladies and gents, the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) is over! And whoa mama, some shit went down! Let's get to it!

OH SNAP! Commander Shepard is one pissed-off motherfucker.

Did you see that? Shepard ain't messing around. Bigger guns, smoother gameplay and a darker mission structure are all shaping up to create a better sequel to Bioware's 2007 masterpiece. Add in new enemies, an assassin named Thane and two new companions by the name of Jacob and Miranda.

Release date: Between January and March 2010.

OH SNAP! Alan Wake actually exists.

Well it's a game alright. The tale of a horror writer searching for his wife in a mountain town looks great and has been given a release date. It's only been in development for five years so, hopefully it will be...oh, I don't know...THE GREATEST THING IN HUMAN EXISTENCE.

Release date: Spring (US) 2010.

OH SNAP! Splinter Cell looks actually interesting again.

The last Splinter Cell game, Double Agent, was slightly disappointing and since then, I had lost faith in the Splinter Cell series. But Splinter Cell Conviction looks really intriguing. Sam Fisher is on a revenge mission and he is A) good at kneeing dudes in the face and B) still voiced by Michael Ironside. Oh yes. The video below is the CG trailer followed by E3 gameplay.

Release date: October 2009

OH SNAP! Modern Warfare 2 looks on track to be expectedly awesome.

Fighting terrorists in snow. And the terrorists have snowmobiles. Check this out.

Release Date: November 2009

OH SNAP! Project Natal is possibly the future.

Well, Microsoft surprised everyone by busting out their motion controller but even more so, the future applications for it. Watch the video and decide for yourself.

Release Date: 2010 maybe.

Oh by the way, Batman Arkham Asylum is out on 25th August. For realz this time. OH SNAP!

Hey clown-face dude. Just wait there for a month or two and I'll be back to punch the fuck out of you.