Are the kids alright? Do I care?

As you get older, you inevitably lose touch with young people. Even using the phrase 'young people' is evidence enough that you're over the hill. On top of that, if you've caught yourself looking at teenagers and thinking 'What's up with those denim shorts?" or "Fucking little pricks need some fucking national service! That'd sort 'em out!", then you're either out of touch with them or just insane.

Kids make no sense to me nowadays. They're running around in Dunlop Volleys and using the word 'rad'. That combination alone is enough to make the entire universe implode with decade-colliding impossibilities so just trying to figure them out is a colossal exercise in futility. But recently, I've looked through a window into their souls via the wonderful medium of video games.

This is Skate 2 for Xbox 360. It's great. Playing as an ex-convict, you get released from jail and set to take back your city by way of being an fucking awesome skateboarder. So far, I've stormed back by appearing on the cover of two magazines, bought a couple of local parks to help underprivileged skaters have a place to bust out their skills and generally been regarded as one hardcore motherfucker by everyone in town. I'm now brimming with knowledge about skateboarding that I would have otherwise disregarded. Ollies, grinds, kickflips and the highly enjoyable Christ-air manoeuvre are all part of my bag of tricks at the moment.

"The fucking awesome Christ-air move..."

"...is second nature to me now."

So I got to thinking. With this knowledge, could I pass myself off in front of teenagers? Busting out terms like 'Frontside Grab' and 'Beanplant', would I appear down with them? Or would I simply appear as a stammering loser who just strings together outdated terms like a moron?

I'm not sure. And do I even give a shit? As far as I can see, teenagers and myself have very different views of how they appear to people.

How the world sees teenagers

How teenagers see themselves

It's an interesting query. Am I being too harsh? Are teenagers today more receptive to the older generation? Either way, I'm not going to bother to actually find out. I've got some skating to do.

BOOMSHAKALAKA!

One year on...

Well, February marks the first birthday for Preparations for Birth. 12 months ago I started this blog with no real direction or point...and not much has changed. But if I've even had a single person say they were mildly distracted by my ramblings enough to stop them killing themselves, then my work is done. 

"Ha, ha! He's right! Zack Snyder does suck!"

Well, if you're just able to drag yourself away from your balconies and bottles of sleeping pills long enough, then I might continue on here with this thing. As you may have noticed, video games take up most of the words on this blog but so what? Video games are tops. I'll no doubt be mining that rich vein in the next twelve months.

So, join me dear reader in celebration. Raise a glass to this sporadically-updated, rage-fuelled, certain-things-that-interest-me blog. I know I will.

If you are without a glass, then let me tide you over with a few pictures of all things awesome:

A dream about Nintendo comes true...sort of.

Hey there Nintendo. Let me tell you about a dream I had recently.

It began with me returning home having just purchased a Nintendo Wii. In the dream, I was excited beyond measure. I connected everything and started it up and played Wii Tennis and Wii Bowling for a little while. Then everything became angry and depressing because in the dream, I couldn't think of any game I wanted to play. Not a single game on the Nintendo Wii I had a single desire to play. Then the dream ended.

That was it.

Now, I don't imagine you give a rat's arse about my depressing dream. Seeing as you swim in lakes of money in your lunch breaks, you aren't about to shed a tear for my mid-sleep realisation.

Pictured: A Nintendo employee.

Anyway, I have a point. Today, you made a decision that was even better than delivering unto me awesome Wii games. From the official press release:

Nintendo DSi is Coming...

Australia, 19 February, 2009 - Nintendo Australia announces that Nintendo DSi™ - an upgrade to the Nintendo DS® hand held console - will hit shelves in Australia and New Zealand, and you can get your hands on one on 2 April 2009.

It's this thing, with a camera and stuff.

I've been on the market for one of these things for a while now. It's great technology and it has great games. The DSi model will be slimmer, technically better and has a bunch of other extra features.

So thank you Nintendo. I am still unconvinced by your world-devouring Wii console, but this is pretty cool of you. Australia even gets the DSi three days before the USA. Sweet.

So guess what? You're about to get slightly richer. You fucking bastards.

"Hey Rayfield, read the rest of the press release below and hand over your cash you chump! Mwhahahahahaha!!!!"

Nintendo DSi has something for everyone, containing more functions to bring you more fun! Keep a photo diary via your Nintendo DSi Camera; store and play music with Nintendo DSi Sound; or why not browse the web on your Nintendo DSi via the Nintendo DSi Shop! New features include larger LCD screens, SD memory card slot, improved speakers and a slimmer unit. Take photos with your Nintendo DSi Camera and manipulate and play with the images - real-time interactive imaging software makes the photo taking experience different from that offered by any other portable device. With 11 different types of lenses to choose from, edit, morph and distort your photos. You can even use the merge lens to blend two faces together! Watch slideshows of your photos, store your photos on your Nintendo DSi and exchange photos with other Nintendo DSi users. Store and play music with Nintendo DSi Sound. You can also play with any music that you have on an SD memory card - make your favourite songs play faster! Learning a foreign language? Slow down the playback of someone speaking in that language so it's easier for you to learn! You can also record sounds using the microphone, and edit them to create new sounds.

Get your Nintendo DSi online via the Nintendo DSi Browser which will be available as a free download at launch. You can then purchase Nintendo DSi software via the Nintendo DSi Shop. By purchasing a Nintendo Points Card - formerly a Wii Points Card - you can then use your points to download software - Nintendo DSiWare - in the Nintendo DSi Shop. Nintendo DSiWare will be available in four different price categories: free, 200 points, 500 points, and 800 or more points. Nintendo DSiWare will not only be games you can download, but also practical applications. Nintendo will launch a variety of applications, giving you the option to download the applications that work for you. This will further personalise and enhance the functionality of your Nintendo DSi. The new features also include the dual LCD screens being 17 per cent larger than those on the Nintendo DS and PictoChat is now available in colour as you can choose between a black or rainbow pen! Nintendo DS software is compatible with Nintendo DSi, except for software that requires the Game Boy Advance cartridge slot, as this has been removed resulting in a slimmer Nintendo DSi.

Available in matte black or matte white, inclusive of built in memory, Wi-Fi functionality, calendar with memo function and touch screen, Nintendo DSi is a more portable, personalised experience.

It's your Nintendo DSi.

AU SRP $299.95 / NZ SRP $375.00 (NZ price is based on current exchange rate)

Batman + video games = awesome?

One of the first games I ever owned was Batman: Caped Crusader for the Commodore 64. It was an odd little game, placing you in control of Batman and going up against such villians as the Penguin and Joker.

Batman is punching the Penguin in the fucking throat. Every young child's dream.

At the time (the late 80s), it was incredible. Looking back though, the game was a turd. Crap combat and controls, shitty graphics and next to nothing in terms of story. But when you are 12 years old, none of that matters. 

Years later, I was still searching for a Batman video game experience. The Nintendo Gamecube came close, with Batman: Vengeance, based on the animated series.

Batman is about to punch this dude in the face. Hey, he knew the risks when he was hired by a guy with green hair.

It was pretty good. Lots of entertaining sections filled with action-packed moments. Jumping away from explosions, driving in the Batmobile and plenty of gadgets. But still, things weren't perfect. Something just wasn't...right. 

Ever since the dark knight entered the world of video games, there has been garbage. Naturally, everything based on any of the films has been shithouse so there's no respite in that department. I'd pretty much given up hope on being able to control Batman's actions in any fulfilling fashion.

Until now.

CHECK. THIS. OUT.

Yeah.

Did you see that shit? Huh? Huh?

Now, I've discussed this game a little on this blog before. But thanks to this trailer, Batman: Arkham Asylum has shot to the top of my wishlist for 2009. And those of you with a keen ear may have recognised the voices in that trailer. Mark Hamill is back as the Clown Prince Of Crime and more importantly, the most fucking awesome Batman voice of all time, Kevin Conroy is lending his talents to this game.

As you can probably tell, I'm looking forward to this one. It looks to have a variety of combat and sneaking which is fine by me. As long as I get to punch the bejesus out of dudes while vowing on the grave of my parents to rid the city of the evil that took their lives.

Fuck yeah.