Thursday, February 19, 2009

A dream about Nintendo comes true...sort of.

Hey there Nintendo. Let me tell you about a dream I had recently.

It began with me returning home having just purchased a Nintendo Wii. In the dream, I was excited beyond measure. I connected everything and started it up and played Wii Tennis and Wii Bowling for a little while. Then everything became angry and depressing because in the dream, I couldn't think of any game I wanted to play. Not a single game on the Nintendo Wii I had a single desire to play. Then the dream ended.

That was it.

Now, I don't imagine you give a rat's arse about my depressing dream. Seeing as you swim in lakes of money in your lunch breaks, you aren't about to shed a tear for my mid-sleep realisation.

Pictured: A Nintendo employee.

Anyway, I have a point. Today, you made a decision that was even better than delivering unto me awesome Wii games. From the official press release:

Nintendo DSi is Coming...

Australia, 19 February, 2009 - Nintendo Australia announces that Nintendo DSi™ - an upgrade to the Nintendo DS® hand held console - will hit shelves in Australia and New Zealand, and you can get your hands on one on 2 April 2009.

It's this thing, with a camera and stuff.

I've been on the market for one of these things for a while now. It's great technology and it has great games. The DSi model will be slimmer, technically better and has a bunch of other extra features.

So thank you Nintendo. I am still unconvinced by your world-devouring Wii console, but this is pretty cool of you. Australia even gets the DSi three days before the USA. Sweet.

So guess what? You're about to get slightly richer. You fucking bastards.

"Hey Rayfield, read the rest of the press release below and hand over your cash you chump! Mwhahahahahaha!!!!"

Nintendo DSi has something for everyone, containing more functions to bring you more fun! Keep a photo diary via your Nintendo DSi Camera; store and play music with Nintendo DSi Sound; or why not browse the web on your Nintendo DSi via the Nintendo DSi Shop! New features include larger LCD screens, SD memory card slot, improved speakers and a slimmer unit. Take photos with your Nintendo DSi Camera and manipulate and play with the images - real-time interactive imaging software makes the photo taking experience different from that offered by any other portable device. With 11 different types of lenses to choose from, edit, morph and distort your photos. You can even use the merge lens to blend two faces together! Watch slideshows of your photos, store your photos on your Nintendo DSi and exchange photos with other Nintendo DSi users. Store and play music with Nintendo DSi Sound. You can also play with any music that you have on an SD memory card - make your favourite songs play faster! Learning a foreign language? Slow down the playback of someone speaking in that language so it's easier for you to learn! You can also record sounds using the microphone, and edit them to create new sounds.

Get your Nintendo DSi online via the Nintendo DSi Browser which will be available as a free download at launch. You can then purchase Nintendo DSi software via the Nintendo DSi Shop. By purchasing a Nintendo Points Card - formerly a Wii Points Card - you can then use your points to download software - Nintendo DSiWare - in the Nintendo DSi Shop. Nintendo DSiWare will be available in four different price categories: free, 200 points, 500 points, and 800 or more points. Nintendo DSiWare will not only be games you can download, but also practical applications. Nintendo will launch a variety of applications, giving you the option to download the applications that work for you. This will further personalise and enhance the functionality of your Nintendo DSi. The new features also include the dual LCD screens being 17 per cent larger than those on the Nintendo DS and PictoChat is now available in colour as you can choose between a black or rainbow pen! Nintendo DS software is compatible with Nintendo DSi, except for software that requires the Game Boy Advance cartridge slot, as this has been removed resulting in a slimmer Nintendo DSi.

Available in matte black or matte white, inclusive of built in memory, Wi-Fi functionality, calendar with memo function and touch screen, Nintendo DSi is a more portable, personalised experience.

It's your Nintendo DSi.

AU SRP $299.95 / NZ SRP $375.00 (NZ price is based on current exchange rate)

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