Thursday, November 20, 2008

The day the joy died.

Almost two years.

That's how long it has been a part of my life. We've been through some good times and some bad. I remember the time its disc tray would never stop opening - that was strange. It and I have undergone magical quests, defended worlds, saved lives and received countless accolades. Together, my Xbox 360 and I have had the time of our lives.

Until now. Yesterday morning, I awoke to see this...

Oh yes. You better fucking believe it. I didn't, I can tell you. When I saw it, I thought "No, surely not." I switched it off immediately and closed my eyes, trying to rid the horrific image from my mind. It can't be. Not on my 360.

I switched it back on.

Oh fuck no. My mind reeled. What had happened while I had been asleep? Had something caused this? Had some heartless burglar broken in during the night and done something horrible to my machine? Nothing else was out of place so I dismissed this rather outlandish theory. I panicked. I started to delve into a denial state. Yelling "No! No! No!" I unplugged cables and pressed buttons but to no avail. It was no use. The FUCKING RED RING OF DEATH remained.

I did a little research. Three red lights means trouble. Four lights apparently means that your AV cable is just loose. Easily fixed. But three lights are from the pits of hell. There's nothing you can do. An internal hardware issue which just laughs at you with two fingers raised.

What now? Well, I have just gotten off the phone with Microsoft. I was under the impression my warranty had expired but thankfully, they've automatically extended the warranty to three years when it comes to this particular problem. The red ring. Amazingly, they were very helpful. I suppose because of this continuing problem with 360s, they just give up the ghost and say, "Yeah, we fucked up, our bad.".

So, I make the journey tomorrow to the post office with my 360 under my arm to send it off to Microsoft. They say it will take ten days from when they receive it. All free of charge. So it's not all bad news. I tell myself.

Eat shit and die you red bastard

UPDATE: Well, I just mailed it off. My poor Xbox is now at the mercy of Australia Post and Microsoft. They'll probably do nothing today sseing as it's Friday but I'll be counting the days anyway. Trying to. I'll...I'll be alright. I'll just...I don't cards. Let's see, jacks are worth ten and kings are...OH SWEET LORD JUST FUCKING KILL ME NOW!


  1. What happened to it!? Is it okay!?

  2. Yep. I got it back after about 10 days. Safe and sound.