Monday, October 27, 2008

The sound of hope shattering (maybe)

You know those moments of immense disappointment? Those sporadic instances when something you have been waiting to see for what seems to be an eternity is suddenly taken away or broken? Yeah, you know what I mean.

Well, one of those moments might be about to happen. The key word here is might. There is an ugly rumour flying around the internet at the moment. An ugly rumour involving WATCHMEN. The rumour is that the movie will possibly have a different ending to the comic.

The 'official' rumour is as follows:
Watchmen fans were thrown into a tailspin over the weekend when fans reporting in from the film’s first test screening in Portland carried out with them shocking news. In the version they saw, Zack Snyder had changed the ending of the comic. Word on the street was that Zack Snyder had removed the Watchmen ending in which Ozymandias fakes an alien attack, replacing it with one in which Ozymandias tricks Dr. Manhattan into nuking the planet.
For those of you who haven't read it...go do so. Now. Okay, read it? Good. The ending features the slaughter of millions of New York citizens by a retired superhero because he believes the mass-murder (which he engineers to be blamed on a alien life-form, which is fake) will galvanise the world's population into not entering into global thermonuclear war. Which the US and Russia are on the brink of doing all throughout the story of Watchmen. Pretty horrible and shocking right?

Too shocking, according to Hollywood. If we are to believe this rumour, the studios are now responsible for the deletion of the alien life-form, in favour of a more box-office friendly Dark Knight-type ending, where a hero sacrifices himself for the good of the planet. Or is tricked. Or does it willingly. I don't fucking know. Whatever.

All I know is it's a mistake. In the comic, the other heroes are forced to keep quiet about who is responsible for the slaughter in order for the world not to revert to its nuclear bomb-happy and God-fearing state and to possibly see it become a utopia of sorts. One even kills another when he objects. Not really a safe, complete ending is it? Yeah, you know what else it isn't? FUCKING BORING.

The only rational explanation is this: Hollywood studio executive types believe the alien ending to be too 'out there' and are much more happy with nuclear explosions. Possibly because they are scared of deadshits named Scotty or Jase exiting the cinema and calling their friends to report "Nah, don't go see that shit. It's got this stupid alien ending that is unlike anything I've ever seen and thus questions my sexuality if I recommend it." So, movie studios are quite happy with nuclear explosions rendered by a blue naked dude that immediately contradicts the entire story but have problems with entrusting fully-rounded adult human beings with an ending that makes you think.

Too weird, possibly gay.

This is fine.

For those of you that don't really get what I'm talking about, let me make it plain.

Director Zack Snyder has decided to make a film version of one of the most respected and thought-provoking comics of all time. He has decided to be so faithful to the comic itself, the lengths he has gone to are incredible. Case in point, this picture:

If the ending is indeed changed, it would be as if Zack Snyder decided to build a model aircraft carrier, right down to the smallest detail - even including the little safety guys on the deck of the ship who guide the planes in with those table tennis bats. And then when it's finished, he paints the whole thing bright pink. As a good friend of mine recently pointed out, why do it in the first place?

I'll have to wait and see if this rumour is true. If it is, I'll have to place Zack Snyder into my hatred file alongside Joel Schumacher. And believe me, Mr Snyder, that's a bad place to be.

1 comment:

  1. On Dark Knight ending: "in favour of a more box-office friendly Dark Knight-type ending"

    On Watchman ending: "Not really a safe, complete ending is it? Yeah, you know what else it isn't? FUCKING BORING."

    Are you saying that the ending of Dark Knight was FUCKING BORING? :D