Thursday, February 21, 2008

An open letter to Game Boy Advance owners.

Dear Game Boy Advance owners,

You are all losers.

We've decided that on the strength of this fact, we will longer stock any quality games for your Nintendo handheld console. Yes, we understand that you may still consider it to be a fine platform for RPG and action games or you may have just dug out your old GBA and wanted to rediscover the joy of handheld gaming by purchasing further games for it, but we reiterate:

You are a loser.

Why in God's name are you bothering with obselete technology anyway? The Game Boy Advance, yes even the sleek SP model, is sooo 2004. Wake up, and smell the Sony you useless scumbags!

See that? THAT'S the future! We have many many fine games for the Sony PS3 console. Such as Motorstorm and Resistance:Fall Of Man. And Metal Gear Solid 4 is finally released this year! Really!

As such, we will only be stocking the following games for your piece of junk platform:

  • Any Pokemon game
  • Any Spongebob Squarepants game
  • Simpsons Road Rage
  • Any game based on The Phantom Menace, Attack Of The Clones or Revenge of the Sith
  • Any game based on the Shrek franchise
  • World Poker Tour
  • Bratz
  • Barbie Horse Adventures

We will NOT be stocking EVER AGAIN these following games:

  • Any Zelda game
  • Any Final Fantasy games
  • In fact, ANY RPGs or action-adventure games
  • Or, any decent games at all

So don't bother looking for anything to play on your stupid loser Game Boy Advance. And if you're wondering why we don't simply discontinue the sale of ALL GBA games, well it's quite simple: We hate you.

Best wishes,

Australian Game Retailers.

P.S. Losers.

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